Thursday, April 9, 2009

Dougie Rackliff Dec. 22 1946- April 1, 2009

The passing of my father has brought mixed emotions. I do miss him and I wish that he was able to meet his grand kids. But, I am glad that his life on earth is over for him because it was a hard one. I posted pictures of him when he was younger because maybe then he was a bit happier. Maybe not really happy but hopeful. As the years passed life wore on him and he never seemed to be happy. I wish I knew more about him. He was never one to talk much about his past. We have very few stories from his childhood and youth. It was one of struggle, heartache, disappointment, and trouble. Because of this my father was rarely serious. He was always joking and he had a very twisted sense of humor. My memories growing up with him aren't the best. I don't think he really knew how to be a father. His favorite past time with us was taking long walks on the railroad tracks. I've seen a lot of country side from the lonesome tracks. I do have a few very positive memories. I don't remember how old I was but I do remember one valentines day he ordered flowers for me at school. I'm not much of a flower person, but that day I was and I'll never forget it. He also took me to see the Broadway production of The Sound of Music. Just the two of us. I know if he didn't have so many troubles he would have been a wonderful father. The passing of my father was a surprise. He lived out in Seattle far from us, and after the years of abuse his body finally gave up. He had been sick for months and none of us knew. He died alone without any family or a single friend to be there as he slipped into the next life. This is the biggest struggle for me to get through. I fear he thought nobody would have come, or that he wasn't worth the trouble. I hope he knows now that was not the case. We loved him deeply even though he wasn't the person he wished he could have been. Pin It


Micah and Melinda said...

Laurie I am so sorry for your loss... I can't imagine how you feel right now... just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Becky said...

Laurie, I'm so sorry. I'm sure this leaves a void, but I hope you can lean on the good memories you have of him. I know it's hard--please know that we're thinking of you.

Emily said...

What a shock for you. I know how much it hurts when a father dies. Although, my relationship or experiences with my father differ from yours, it is still painful to lose a parent. It is a good thing to focus on the good memories you have with him. :)